Got some more good news from my agent this week. Thanks everyone for the ways you have both encouraged me regarding The Runaway Pastor and told friends about it.
Following is a review at the amazon.com site.
This book addresses many pertinent issues not just for pastors, but for the whole church world. It is amazing how many men and women serving in pastoral ministry are close to burn-out, and need some relief. However, this is one of very few books that even addresses the issues that may contribute to burnout. I would recommend it for the pastors who are feeling like submitting a resignation is the only way out. I also highly recommend it for the church boards and administrators who, I think, would greatly benefit from the insight offered in this book about ministerial burn-out and some of the issues that cause pastors to go into other occupations. This book does not give answers to all the questions and stresses that pastor's face, but it provides a good place to begin the discussion about what pastors are feeling and why they are experiencing high levels of stress.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Fantasy life of the runaway
Last weekend I took some time to do a little beginning research for the sequel to The Runaway Pastor. Since Trent--the main character in my novel--seems to be dealing with an escape fantasy, I began there. What I discovered was not all that new to me, but the way it came to me was like a formula; like a two plus two equals four. All I'd seen before was a two and another two--without the four.
First, Neuro-psychology teaches us that practiced patterns become ingrained habit. If you play golf or tennis or if you type or drive, you know what it means to be able to do something without really thinking about it. "I could do that in my sleep," we often say. And it is true. Rehearsed patterns become ingrained.
They also become default behaviors. Like a water drop falling down a windshield; once a certain path is cleared, it becomes the easy way...the default pathway for other drops. We don't think about how we type our email address, it just pops out of our fingers. We don't plan to go (or remember going) to the fridge, but we find the ice cream sandwich right there in our hands. The neuron trail has been blazed, and we follow it by habit.
The second truth is that articulately and meticulously imagined actions are indistinguishable from real actions. It is true. Our mind cannot decipher the difference between a real action and a well imagined one. We've heard that before regarding violence in movies and video games. Perhaps we believe it to an extent. However, our mind has the capability of producing much more realistic "movies" than does the movie industry. Our fantasies are more real to us than video representations of reality.
So those two points are "two" and another "two." But the "four" had never accurred to me.
Well imagined actions, which are imagined over and over, become ingrained in our thinking. They form true neurological pathways in our brain, and become default reactions to certain settings. When Jesus said that lusting was indeed adultery, he wasn't kidding. When we read in scripture that "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he," it is mirroring contemporary teaching.
It seems the secular world has a hang-up on pushing fantasies. But what I am reading tells me that fantasies can lead to realities. And realities that we imagine are not nearly as exciting and joy-filled as our imaginations allow us to believe.
Jesus said "The truth will set you free..." Chasing fantasies down pathways of pleasure is not the way to freedom.
People have often asked me how Trent so easily left his wife, church and home. In my mind, he had already dreamed it into reality. I've been asked why Natalie was unfaithful to him. She had fantasized such betrayal over and over. How far do our habitual default responses carry us in our living?
My next research interest? How does one reset/retrain their imaginations and ingrained habits?
First, Neuro-psychology teaches us that practiced patterns become ingrained habit. If you play golf or tennis or if you type or drive, you know what it means to be able to do something without really thinking about it. "I could do that in my sleep," we often say. And it is true. Rehearsed patterns become ingrained.
They also become default behaviors. Like a water drop falling down a windshield; once a certain path is cleared, it becomes the easy way...the default pathway for other drops. We don't think about how we type our email address, it just pops out of our fingers. We don't plan to go (or remember going) to the fridge, but we find the ice cream sandwich right there in our hands. The neuron trail has been blazed, and we follow it by habit.
The second truth is that articulately and meticulously imagined actions are indistinguishable from real actions. It is true. Our mind cannot decipher the difference between a real action and a well imagined one. We've heard that before regarding violence in movies and video games. Perhaps we believe it to an extent. However, our mind has the capability of producing much more realistic "movies" than does the movie industry. Our fantasies are more real to us than video representations of reality.
So those two points are "two" and another "two." But the "four" had never accurred to me.
Well imagined actions, which are imagined over and over, become ingrained in our thinking. They form true neurological pathways in our brain, and become default reactions to certain settings. When Jesus said that lusting was indeed adultery, he wasn't kidding. When we read in scripture that "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he," it is mirroring contemporary teaching.
It seems the secular world has a hang-up on pushing fantasies. But what I am reading tells me that fantasies can lead to realities. And realities that we imagine are not nearly as exciting and joy-filled as our imaginations allow us to believe.
Jesus said "The truth will set you free..." Chasing fantasies down pathways of pleasure is not the way to freedom.
People have often asked me how Trent so easily left his wife, church and home. In my mind, he had already dreamed it into reality. I've been asked why Natalie was unfaithful to him. She had fantasized such betrayal over and over. How far do our habitual default responses carry us in our living?
My next research interest? How does one reset/retrain their imaginations and ingrained habits?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Runaway Characters are Acting Up Again
The writing of The Runaway Pastor was quite unintentional. There were agonies and feelings that needed expression. So many pastors were sharing their stories, that I decided to write a journal entry about a guy running away.
After writing a few pages, I saved the file as "Trent's Very Bad Day." (I was thinking of a popular children's book title.) And I thought I was finished. The next day I pulled out the lap top to add another bit to the story, and the characters just started appearing and doing things that people do.
I had often toyed with writing fiction. I once even had nearly one hundred pages into a pretty cool story set overseas. But a crashed hard drive, and a very full time job kept me out of the writing business. Then "Trent's Very Bad Day" became The Runaway Pastor, when I could not remove myself from the story; the story wrote itself, as the people did things people do. I too was often shocked at what happened.
This is why it has been so tough to write a sequel to the story. I've often told those who ask me about a sequel that I've "had that fit," and I don't feel the need to write any longer about those people. However this week, the TV in my brain went back to San Diego and Baylor's Bend, and I was surprised to see what was happening once again.
So a couple of days ago I started a sequel. And yesterday I tried to capture the half-hour of ideas that flowed through my brain on paper. It is in nothing like outline form. But there are scenes and glances, and conversations, and locations and all sorts of things happening. My friends in The Runaway Pastor are back at it. And so as I'm able, and with their permission, a sequel just may be on the way.
Thank you to all of you who encourage me! I still hear from a new reader of Runaway about two times per week. Pass the word along. Consider going to Amazon from my link--above and on the right--and buying a copy for a birthday, or begin your Christmas shopping now. (Later on, you'll be glad some of those gifts are already purchased!) Your pastor or church friends will like the book, but I'm finding many strong reviews from those outside of the church...and Trent seems to perk-up their interest in spiritual conversations.
Thank you again for all the ways you have encouraged me.
After writing a few pages, I saved the file as "Trent's Very Bad Day." (I was thinking of a popular children's book title.) And I thought I was finished. The next day I pulled out the lap top to add another bit to the story, and the characters just started appearing and doing things that people do.
I had often toyed with writing fiction. I once even had nearly one hundred pages into a pretty cool story set overseas. But a crashed hard drive, and a very full time job kept me out of the writing business. Then "Trent's Very Bad Day" became The Runaway Pastor, when I could not remove myself from the story; the story wrote itself, as the people did things people do. I too was often shocked at what happened.
This is why it has been so tough to write a sequel to the story. I've often told those who ask me about a sequel that I've "had that fit," and I don't feel the need to write any longer about those people. However this week, the TV in my brain went back to San Diego and Baylor's Bend, and I was surprised to see what was happening once again.
So a couple of days ago I started a sequel. And yesterday I tried to capture the half-hour of ideas that flowed through my brain on paper. It is in nothing like outline form. But there are scenes and glances, and conversations, and locations and all sorts of things happening. My friends in The Runaway Pastor are back at it. And so as I'm able, and with their permission, a sequel just may be on the way.
Thank you to all of you who encourage me! I still hear from a new reader of Runaway about two times per week. Pass the word along. Consider going to Amazon from my link--above and on the right--and buying a copy for a birthday, or begin your Christmas shopping now. (Later on, you'll be glad some of those gifts are already purchased!) Your pastor or church friends will like the book, but I'm finding many strong reviews from those outside of the church...and Trent seems to perk-up their interest in spiritual conversations.
Thank you again for all the ways you have encouraged me.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Some rambling theology and fearless hope...
John tells us in his first epistle "there is no fear in love". That when our love for God has been perfected, there will be no fear of punishment. I wasn't raised on that thinking. In fact, a different theme from the old testament was emphasized: "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." In this passage the aim is wisdom. In John's teaching, the aim is relationship. In the O.T. passage as I understand it, the word "fear" is better understood as "respect" or "reverence." (I buy that. God is awesome and to be respected and held in awe above anything or anyone. He is to be worshipped in utter broken humility.) Yet we are not to pursue fear!
And so what do we pursue? We pursue Christ. We accept his love and get on with the celebration of life eternal! We can't even take credit for this. John says that "we love God because he first loved us." Even though John spends considerable time speaking of sin, he seems to be asking people to focus on God's love, rather than focus our lives on avoiding or managing sin.
We are taught to "walk in the light," and reminded that we should not sin, or continue in the path of sinning. To stay in sin would be "walking in darkness," and it is equated not with breaking a list of rules, but with hating. That's right. For John, the dear friend of Jesus, sin equals hate. Darkness is hate. Light is love.
How did Jesus relate to sinners and sin? First, we see him being condemned by religiuos leaders as "a friend of sinners." They are not avoided, he loves them. While it is true that when he forgives the woman caught in adultery, he tells her to "go and sin no more." We mustn't forget, however, that his first words to her are "Neither do I condemn you." The assumption here is that the grace given in forgiveness is so overwhelming, that persistence in sin won't be a consideration.
What did Paul say about life after forgiveness? "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." REALLY? Is there condemnation for you if you believe you sin every day in word, thought and deed? I am beginning to live with the hunch that this good news is a lot better than I've been led to believe. That being called by John in his first letter to "live as Jesus did," and to see to it that "God's love is made complete in us," is not an invitation to some obstacle course with God sitting above waiting to see if we error. Rather it is truly a freedom to live as free people. Free not only from the guilt of past sin and the need to live in current ones, but free also of the weight of the law that constantly finds us falling short. I believe that our faith is intended to be fluid and real. Not forced and measured out in devotionals accomplished and temptations avoided. Rather, we are to flow the person and presence of Jesus from our living; naturally, and without fear.
Some of you theologians who know me, may be seeing signs of my native doctrine. The Wesleyan doctrine of holiness is full of such hope as mentioned above. Too often however, I'm afraid it is married to some post-gospel legalism that leaves us wanting.
And so what do we pursue? We pursue Christ. We accept his love and get on with the celebration of life eternal! We can't even take credit for this. John says that "we love God because he first loved us." Even though John spends considerable time speaking of sin, he seems to be asking people to focus on God's love, rather than focus our lives on avoiding or managing sin.
We are taught to "walk in the light," and reminded that we should not sin, or continue in the path of sinning. To stay in sin would be "walking in darkness," and it is equated not with breaking a list of rules, but with hating. That's right. For John, the dear friend of Jesus, sin equals hate. Darkness is hate. Light is love.
How did Jesus relate to sinners and sin? First, we see him being condemned by religiuos leaders as "a friend of sinners." They are not avoided, he loves them. While it is true that when he forgives the woman caught in adultery, he tells her to "go and sin no more." We mustn't forget, however, that his first words to her are "Neither do I condemn you." The assumption here is that the grace given in forgiveness is so overwhelming, that persistence in sin won't be a consideration.
What did Paul say about life after forgiveness? "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." REALLY? Is there condemnation for you if you believe you sin every day in word, thought and deed? I am beginning to live with the hunch that this good news is a lot better than I've been led to believe. That being called by John in his first letter to "live as Jesus did," and to see to it that "God's love is made complete in us," is not an invitation to some obstacle course with God sitting above waiting to see if we error. Rather it is truly a freedom to live as free people. Free not only from the guilt of past sin and the need to live in current ones, but free also of the weight of the law that constantly finds us falling short. I believe that our faith is intended to be fluid and real. Not forced and measured out in devotionals accomplished and temptations avoided. Rather, we are to flow the person and presence of Jesus from our living; naturally, and without fear.
Some of you theologians who know me, may be seeing signs of my native doctrine. The Wesleyan doctrine of holiness is full of such hope as mentioned above. Too often however, I'm afraid it is married to some post-gospel legalism that leaves us wanting.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I don't have to possess her, to love her.
I remember like it was yesterday the afternoon when my wife and I--with our four year old and eight year old--stepped away from the embraces of family and other loved ones who were as close as family, and began our journey to live beyond the sea. Arriving at our apartment in Kyiv, Ukraine, we quickly took a vital tool out of it's box. It was a clunky, early edition FAX machine.
Not many years before that, snail mail was the only communication option besides hyper-priced overseas telephone calls. We were thrilled that we could place a freshly typed letter onto the moving wheel, and watch the machine swallow it. And to know that simultaneously, in my childhood home on the other side of the world, a copy would roll out for my mother (or into other homes of friends from our first and current church) to read and share. Hi tech it was indeed.
Just now I arrived home from a hospital visit in Indianapolis. My wife glowed a smile as she told me of her conversation with our exchange student daughter who had safely arrived home. I sat on our couch, punched up our skype program and dialed. Soon I was looking face to face with this dear girl. Her beautiful sister and mother looked on and shared our greetings. Shamelessly we shared "I love you's."
Funny, I thought, I'm not sure we ever spoke these words before our airport separation. But they are real and true now, and we all know it.
My weeping has stopped (for the most part). I am content that she is with her family. She is safe and well. I don't have to possess her, in order to love her. Probably some wisdom in that line for all of us.
Not many years before that, snail mail was the only communication option besides hyper-priced overseas telephone calls. We were thrilled that we could place a freshly typed letter onto the moving wheel, and watch the machine swallow it. And to know that simultaneously, in my childhood home on the other side of the world, a copy would roll out for my mother (or into other homes of friends from our first and current church) to read and share. Hi tech it was indeed.
Just now I arrived home from a hospital visit in Indianapolis. My wife glowed a smile as she told me of her conversation with our exchange student daughter who had safely arrived home. I sat on our couch, punched up our skype program and dialed. Soon I was looking face to face with this dear girl. Her beautiful sister and mother looked on and shared our greetings. Shamelessly we shared "I love you's."
Funny, I thought, I'm not sure we ever spoke these words before our airport separation. But they are real and true now, and we all know it.
My weeping has stopped (for the most part). I am content that she is with her family. She is safe and well. I don't have to possess her, in order to love her. Probably some wisdom in that line for all of us.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
"Exchange" Daughter and The Pains of Love
I have often been afforded the agonizing honor of sharing in the last hours of a person's life. I've written about these moments before, but my grief this morning is of a different nature.
Just an hour ago, my wife and I left behind our "daughter for a year" at the airport. I haven't sobbed so much since a dear friend died a few years back. My heart is crushed. Making her scrambled eggs one last time, carrying her luggage to the car, and driving her down the hill (as I did so many mornings on the way to school or one of the many activities she was involved in) carried such a sense of finality. She is ours no longer.
I remember the first week she was here I introduced her to someone as my "daughter for the year." She looked me in the eyes with her determined gaze and responded, "I will be your daughter forever."
No, I am not her father, and she has a wonderful man she calls Dad waiting to welcome her home. And no, she is not my blood daughter. I have one of those that I treasure beyond what any words can say. But as I sobbed my good-byes this morning--as I let go of her at the airport security line--my heart broke as I never thought it could.
Koba Sivsivadze, oo vas yest chudesnee dochka! (You have a wonderful daughter!) But it has been my honor to care for her for the past year. Thank you for trusting our family to watch over her. She will change her world in everything she does, as she has changed ours in this little town in Indiana.
And I hope you don't mind me saying, while understanding my lesser role, Gvantsa will also be my daughter, forever.
Just an hour ago, my wife and I left behind our "daughter for a year" at the airport. I haven't sobbed so much since a dear friend died a few years back. My heart is crushed. Making her scrambled eggs one last time, carrying her luggage to the car, and driving her down the hill (as I did so many mornings on the way to school or one of the many activities she was involved in) carried such a sense of finality. She is ours no longer.
I remember the first week she was here I introduced her to someone as my "daughter for the year." She looked me in the eyes with her determined gaze and responded, "I will be your daughter forever."
No, I am not her father, and she has a wonderful man she calls Dad waiting to welcome her home. And no, she is not my blood daughter. I have one of those that I treasure beyond what any words can say. But as I sobbed my good-byes this morning--as I let go of her at the airport security line--my heart broke as I never thought it could.
Koba Sivsivadze, oo vas yest chudesnee dochka! (You have a wonderful daughter!) But it has been my honor to care for her for the past year. Thank you for trusting our family to watch over her. She will change her world in everything she does, as she has changed ours in this little town in Indiana.
And I hope you don't mind me saying, while understanding my lesser role, Gvantsa will also be my daughter, forever.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
A divided Church, purity or pride?
We hear a great deal about sustainability these days. More and more, I find myself questioning the sustainability of the Western church's trajectory.
Can we churches continue to split-hairs and divide ourselves one from another in order to distinguish ourselves as the most Jesus-like or the coolest? How long can we compete with one another on the grounds of having "better worship," "stronger teaching" or "purer doctrine?" Must we--like a centrifuge--continually throw to the fringes everything that cannot cling to some enigmatic standard or another? Must we purify ourselves of other sincere Christ seekers and followers?
Is this sustainable? Are we all straining at gnats and swallowing camels (insisting on our own peculiar standards, and ignoring Christ's call for unity)? Surely this is not what Jesus meant by, "I pray that they may one..." Is it not time for humility and unity?
We have developed rules to follow and items to believe which define for us the true followers. So who is it that has the best set of beliefs? Are all the rest of us lost?
Thank God, Jesus did not lift the standard so high when asking disciples to follow him. "Follow me" was all he required. His followers didn't even believe he was the Messiah at first! (And then only when God's Spirit revealed it--not a clever emotional sermon followed by a "sinner's prayer.")
I'd guess on judgment day he'll trash most of us and welcome the wise few?
No? You don't believe that?
Question: Then why not swallow our pride and unite with others who are on this journey of following the ONE?
Answer: Because Jesus alone isn't enough for us anymore. And that being true, beneath what banner could we possibly agree to bow?
Can we churches continue to split-hairs and divide ourselves one from another in order to distinguish ourselves as the most Jesus-like or the coolest? How long can we compete with one another on the grounds of having "better worship," "stronger teaching" or "purer doctrine?" Must we--like a centrifuge--continually throw to the fringes everything that cannot cling to some enigmatic standard or another? Must we purify ourselves of other sincere Christ seekers and followers?
Is this sustainable? Are we all straining at gnats and swallowing camels (insisting on our own peculiar standards, and ignoring Christ's call for unity)? Surely this is not what Jesus meant by, "I pray that they may one..." Is it not time for humility and unity?
We have developed rules to follow and items to believe which define for us the true followers. So who is it that has the best set of beliefs? Are all the rest of us lost?
Thank God, Jesus did not lift the standard so high when asking disciples to follow him. "Follow me" was all he required. His followers didn't even believe he was the Messiah at first! (And then only when God's Spirit revealed it--not a clever emotional sermon followed by a "sinner's prayer.")
I'd guess on judgment day he'll trash most of us and welcome the wise few?
No? You don't believe that?
Question: Then why not swallow our pride and unite with others who are on this journey of following the ONE?
Answer: Because Jesus alone isn't enough for us anymore. And that being true, beneath what banner could we possibly agree to bow?
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