I have made a drastic update to the first paragraph in part four of The Parable of the Gym. Thank you for the comment and collaboration, Rich! The change has to do with the motivation for beginning new church work. The first edition was a bit more cynical than Rich and I have experienced in our own realities.
So give it another read, and see what you think of the changes as well as the overall feel. Click below to tie-in.
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_14dprvxtcr
I will be posting some updates about hopes for publishing soon.
If you haven't read parts 1-3 of the Parable of the Gym, poke around the site and check them out. They are one piece in the novel.
David
1 comment:
Halfway through, I see the reason publishers would want to take a closer look. The narrative moves like a river. At this point, I do want to know what is around the next bend. I come away from this reading wanting just a couple of things: better description of the characters (frankly, I see your face in the narrative and want to believe in the disclaimer), a literary illustration of both primary settings, perhaps a second look at activating sentences now in the passive, and bit more specificty. All that is window dressing. Nothing is more important than the narrative throb, the story. You seem to have that. I am reminded of John Updike's masterpiece, "Rabbit Run" and recommend a reading of it.
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