Warning: Whining ahead.
Well, we just got back from a couple of nice days away for our 29th anniversary. Rest. Quiet. Outdoors. Nice. The effects lasted for about ten minutes after I arrived home and get my telephone calls...
Someone called wanting to meet with me tonight. It's "a bone to pick with you" meeting. This is a good person, and they won't be too mean. But I'm pretty sure I know what it is about...and it won't be easy. It's election time. And everyone thinks I need to take their side. And I never announce any side-taking. And this person has already ruffled a few feathers here and there in the church about voting. And there has been more than the typical number of election-time-forwarded-mass-email-bombs landing in my in box from members, with the addresses of other members...passed back and forth through my incoming mail--angrily--to let me know that all is not well in the kingdom.
O well, today, the last day of my mini-vacation, was spent mostly at home, and in a doctor's office with a loved one. I've only thought of the meeting tonight, and the "ten or so pages" I was told I'm going to need to read before the next morning's follow-up meeting, about 50 times. My stomach twinges or cramps every time.
In a comment to an earlier posting, one of you pastors said something about carrying a constant sense of doom. I've felt that much of the day. Actually, I feel it most days. The KINGDOM is so much bigger than this stuff. But my most sincere praying, and my best discerned sermons can't seem to move people to a Higher Loyalty. (And this is the easiest going congregation I've ever pastored.)
I know of several other tussles in the congregation right now. Fortunately, only a few of them have blazes high enough that I need to stamp on them. Maybe if I catch up on those, I can study for Sunday's sermon...I'm only about six to eight hours behind on this one.
Why can't we all just get along?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Step-Away Pastor
Since the beginning of our marriage, my wife and I have made it a habit to take time away now and then. We've not always been able to afford much of a place, but it has been near ritual to take the time to step away for a while and renew our energies--as well as our promise to each other.
Often people respond to our stepping away with a sort of cynical, prideful jealousy. "Wish I had the time to get away!" Cynical because they think they have no time. Prideful because they assume busy-ness indicates importance. And jealousy, because they choose not to make it a priority to get away--but it sounds so wonderful to them.
The one time in my life that I was tempted to run away from ministry, was the time when I'd allowed myself to go a few years without stepping away on a regular basis. I thought I was so important, that the church I served could not get along without my presence and wisdom and talents for a few days, let alone more than a Sunday or so per year. The ignorance of my ways hit me in the face the day I crashed in burnout and depression. (See http://runawaypastor.blogspot.com/2008/09/when-this-pastor-burned-out.html )
My wood stove kept the house cozy last night, even though outside the temperature dropped below freezing for the first time. Yet this morning, the remaining and glowing coals were few. The wood from last night had burned itself up in the process of keeping us all warm. And so, this morning I had to take a few moments and add some wood. I opened a vent to let in much needed air to breath coals into flames. And then I waited for a cast iron stove to renew its heat and effectiveness. And today, so long as a piece of wood is added occasionally, the house will stay warm.
When writing The Runaway Pastor, I had in the back of my mind a better plan. My wife and I have renewed our commitment to stepping away, to add fuel to the fires that keep our marriage viable, and to breath in the Grace and Peace that will keep others warm in the Presence.
If you lead in any capacity, you cannot do it on burned ash. Choose a pattern of renewal. How can you lead people to quiet pastures if you refuse them yourself? If you are a pastor, learn to step-away. It is so much better than the alternative.
Often people respond to our stepping away with a sort of cynical, prideful jealousy. "Wish I had the time to get away!" Cynical because they think they have no time. Prideful because they assume busy-ness indicates importance. And jealousy, because they choose not to make it a priority to get away--but it sounds so wonderful to them.
The one time in my life that I was tempted to run away from ministry, was the time when I'd allowed myself to go a few years without stepping away on a regular basis. I thought I was so important, that the church I served could not get along without my presence and wisdom and talents for a few days, let alone more than a Sunday or so per year. The ignorance of my ways hit me in the face the day I crashed in burnout and depression. (See http://runawaypastor.blogspot.com/2008/09/when-this-pastor-burned-out.html )
My wood stove kept the house cozy last night, even though outside the temperature dropped below freezing for the first time. Yet this morning, the remaining and glowing coals were few. The wood from last night had burned itself up in the process of keeping us all warm. And so, this morning I had to take a few moments and add some wood. I opened a vent to let in much needed air to breath coals into flames. And then I waited for a cast iron stove to renew its heat and effectiveness. And today, so long as a piece of wood is added occasionally, the house will stay warm.
When writing The Runaway Pastor, I had in the back of my mind a better plan. My wife and I have renewed our commitment to stepping away, to add fuel to the fires that keep our marriage viable, and to breath in the Grace and Peace that will keep others warm in the Presence.
If you lead in any capacity, you cannot do it on burned ash. Choose a pattern of renewal. How can you lead people to quiet pastures if you refuse them yourself? If you are a pastor, learn to step-away. It is so much better than the alternative.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Happy Anniversary to us!
Today is my twenty-ninth wedding anniversary!
Yesterday I preached about Jesus' echoing of the first commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." I'll spare you the entirety of the message, but...
The word we translate as "Love," has a much deeper root meaning than our U.S. version. The better translation might read: "Be loyal to the Lord your God..." Throughout the past 29 years, the romantic edge of our marriage has been wonderful. However, as in any relationship, sometimes romance waned a bit, or took a back seat to hospitalizations or family grief. There are seasons of life which are hard--agonizing even. But loyalty to the promise is enduring.
If you follow The Runaway Pastor to the end, you will experience this faith in, and commitment to the promise as I believe it is intended. One of the most important reasons I wrote this novel is to paint a picture of love as loyalty to a vow, verses "the way things seem to feel right now."
It is my hope and prayer that whoever reads The Runaway Pastor will come-away with a newly deepened commitment to stay true to their initial "I dos." A pastor who recently finished the entire manuscript has certainly testified to that outcome in his life, and for that I'm grateful.
Grace and peace to you.
Yesterday I preached about Jesus' echoing of the first commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." I'll spare you the entirety of the message, but...
The word we translate as "Love," has a much deeper root meaning than our U.S. version. The better translation might read: "Be loyal to the Lord your God..." Throughout the past 29 years, the romantic edge of our marriage has been wonderful. However, as in any relationship, sometimes romance waned a bit, or took a back seat to hospitalizations or family grief. There are seasons of life which are hard--agonizing even. But loyalty to the promise is enduring.
If you follow The Runaway Pastor to the end, you will experience this faith in, and commitment to the promise as I believe it is intended. One of the most important reasons I wrote this novel is to paint a picture of love as loyalty to a vow, verses "the way things seem to feel right now."
It is my hope and prayer that whoever reads The Runaway Pastor will come-away with a newly deepened commitment to stay true to their initial "I dos." A pastor who recently finished the entire manuscript has certainly testified to that outcome in his life, and for that I'm grateful.
Grace and peace to you.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Chapters 6 & 7: The Runaway Pastor
I'm adding two chapters again. They seem to need each other. They also contain a great deal of change. I'll probably not add another chapter for a couple of weeks.
According to my counter, the traffic at the site has grown by about two and a half times since I posted chapter 5. Thank you for telling your friends about The Runaway Pastor.
Each time I add chapters, I remind you that this book is NOT about me or my family. My wife and I celebrate our 29th anniversary next Monday. I am the most blessed man in the world.
Once again, I've provided the new chapters, and then the entire manuscript so far, in two separate files. Please let me know when you find mistakes, or problems. This is a finished novel of which I'm only posting a bit at a time. But if you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
For chapters 6 & 7 copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_7cd65p5fq
For chapters 1-7 copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_9cdf4g7cb
Grace and peace to you.
David
According to my counter, the traffic at the site has grown by about two and a half times since I posted chapter 5. Thank you for telling your friends about The Runaway Pastor.
Each time I add chapters, I remind you that this book is NOT about me or my family. My wife and I celebrate our 29th anniversary next Monday. I am the most blessed man in the world.
Once again, I've provided the new chapters, and then the entire manuscript so far, in two separate files. Please let me know when you find mistakes, or problems. This is a finished novel of which I'm only posting a bit at a time. But if you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
For chapters 6 & 7 copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_7cd65p5fq
For chapters 1-7 copy and paste this link into your browser:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_9cdf4g7cb
Grace and peace to you.
David
Friday, October 24, 2008
Shocking Stats about your (?) Pastor
I've struggled today with whether or not to post this. However, I've decided it is vital rational for this entire blog. It also explains the reason I have written The Runaway Pastor, and will help many to understand the plot of the book itself. You may read the first five chapters at the following link:
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dhdr3wvs_6g8fc94c2&hl=en
(Note: The following references partially assume that pastors are male. That is not the case in all settings, including in mine. The statistics however are both frightening and vital.)
"Depression and burnout are at epidemic proportions. If this were the case anywhere else in the world, there would be an incredible outcry. The September/October 2000 edition of Physician magazine reported that 80 percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses are discouraged or dealing with depression. Forty percent of pastors and 47 percent of their spouses say they are suffering from burnout. The norm among men in our country who are experiencing depression at any given time is about 10 percent. The norm among pastors is 40 percent."
Goodall continues: "To help me understand the role of stress in a pastor’s life, the executive leadership of the Assemblies of God asked me to participate in a 4-year think tank at Duke University called Pulpit and Pew. A book came out of that study entitled Pastors in Transition. I learned the primary reason pastors quit the ministry is conflict in the church. Conflict never goes away. Many pastors do not know how or when to deal with conflict. Conflict constantly hits them like a baseball bat on the head. They say: “I’ve had it. I’m going to do something different.” Unless church conflict is addressed along with the issues of burnout, stress, and depression, and the underlying causes creating these problems, the church will lose more and more of its fine pastors."
(Source: http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/200603/200603_040_journey_pastors.cfm )
Coming Out of the Dark:
Two Pastors’ Journey Out of Depression
With Wayde I. Goodall And E. Glenn Wagner
In my new novel The Runaway Pastor, you can experience life through the eyes of a burned-out pastor. It is my desire to pastors learn to step-away for rest, before they run.
I think it's time this conversation gets a bit more public.
Jump in and comment. What are you thinking?
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dhdr3wvs_6g8fc94c2&hl=en
(Note: The following references partially assume that pastors are male. That is not the case in all settings, including in mine. The statistics however are both frightening and vital.)
"Depression and burnout are at epidemic proportions. If this were the case anywhere else in the world, there would be an incredible outcry. The September/October 2000 edition of Physician magazine reported that 80 percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses are discouraged or dealing with depression. Forty percent of pastors and 47 percent of their spouses say they are suffering from burnout. The norm among men in our country who are experiencing depression at any given time is about 10 percent. The norm among pastors is 40 percent."
Goodall continues: "To help me understand the role of stress in a pastor’s life, the executive leadership of the Assemblies of God asked me to participate in a 4-year think tank at Duke University called Pulpit and Pew. A book came out of that study entitled Pastors in Transition. I learned the primary reason pastors quit the ministry is conflict in the church. Conflict never goes away. Many pastors do not know how or when to deal with conflict. Conflict constantly hits them like a baseball bat on the head. They say: “I’ve had it. I’m going to do something different.” Unless church conflict is addressed along with the issues of burnout, stress, and depression, and the underlying causes creating these problems, the church will lose more and more of its fine pastors."
(Source: http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/200603/200603_040_journey_pastors.cfm )
Coming Out of the Dark:
Two Pastors’ Journey Out of Depression
With Wayde I. Goodall And E. Glenn Wagner
In my new novel The Runaway Pastor, you can experience life through the eyes of a burned-out pastor. It is my desire to pastors learn to step-away for rest, before they run.
I think it's time this conversation gets a bit more public.
Jump in and comment. What are you thinking?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
It's one of those mornings...or Thank God for the Psalms
It's one of those mornings...which follows one of those evenings. If you've been there, you know what I mean. One conversation at the end of a meeting...a hurting soul, who hints that it is at least partially your fault, or the church's fault; again.
You know the morning. The night before, you take a while to settle, and get that song out of your head. You read a little extra late, and then wake hours early, for good. And so you get up and start the day, trying to focus on your joys, but with limited success--because you can't wipe away the hurt in their eyes. And you wonder how deep this will go?
Because people who get hurt easily, and add weight to your days, (and exact sleep from your nights) have a way of speaking with others. And even though you know their influence has been weakened by their patterns, their words still register in the minds of those you love, and who love you, and who vote for/or against your leadership.
It's taken a few decades, but I think I'm learning to let it go. (That's probably why I'm up a little after three this morning, huh?) There's nothing like loving a group of people unconditionally...sort of. And there's nothing like knowing that nearly all of those who serve alongside you, love you back, unconditionally...sort of. And they, the weak and the strong, help you hang in, and not run away.
And my pattern of reading five Psalms a morning, and hearing the honesty of the writers, and casting my cares to the night sky, and praying some ancient prayers, and praying some that are new today before the dawn gets anywhere near the horizon; that pattern yields fruit. For there is One who is faithful like the morning, and unconditional like the tide, and who never burdens me with my weaknesses.
You know the morning. The night before, you take a while to settle, and get that song out of your head. You read a little extra late, and then wake hours early, for good. And so you get up and start the day, trying to focus on your joys, but with limited success--because you can't wipe away the hurt in their eyes. And you wonder how deep this will go?
Because people who get hurt easily, and add weight to your days, (and exact sleep from your nights) have a way of speaking with others. And even though you know their influence has been weakened by their patterns, their words still register in the minds of those you love, and who love you, and who vote for/or against your leadership.
It's taken a few decades, but I think I'm learning to let it go. (That's probably why I'm up a little after three this morning, huh?) There's nothing like loving a group of people unconditionally...sort of. And there's nothing like knowing that nearly all of those who serve alongside you, love you back, unconditionally...sort of. And they, the weak and the strong, help you hang in, and not run away.
And my pattern of reading five Psalms a morning, and hearing the honesty of the writers, and casting my cares to the night sky, and praying some ancient prayers, and praying some that are new today before the dawn gets anywhere near the horizon; that pattern yields fruit. For there is One who is faithful like the morning, and unconditional like the tide, and who never burdens me with my weaknesses.
Monday, October 20, 2008
THE RUNAWAY PASTOR: What is Trent running from? Running to?
From emails I'm receiving, people think Trent ran from Natalie, and to Kim. Interesting.
I want those of you who have read at least the first few chapters to consider this: Maybe Trent ran from his church work, and to people like Kim, who needed--and wanted--a pastor?
Maybe, he ran from those who needed administrating, to those who needed loved, cared for?
Could that be the attraction to Kim?
Hmmm...
I want those of you who have read at least the first few chapters to consider this: Maybe Trent ran from his church work, and to people like Kim, who needed--and wanted--a pastor?
Maybe, he ran from those who needed administrating, to those who needed loved, cared for?
Could that be the attraction to Kim?
Hmmm...
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