It is a difficult thing to pay attention to our conversations, relationships and simply being in the presence of others. We rely so heavily on cliche, routines and posturing. From the opening moments of human interface these relational habits kick-in with the force of the most powerful addictions. What do I mean?
"Hi, how are you doing?"
"Fine!" A pause and tilt of the head sideways. "And how are YOU doing anyway?"
"Couldn't be better," he lies.
Fake smiles--yeah I've been caught in a few. I had a guy in one church that would give me back my Guy Smiley smile every time I posed it.
Why can't we live in the real world? Why can't we truly mean what we say, interface with sincerity and truly touch one another with authenticity? You need to be seen today. Has anyone looked at you? Has anyone studied your eyes and your face and really asked about you? You need to be heard today. Is anyone listening?
Would you touch someone this day by making a real conversation--by being honest when you are with them and looking them in their beautiful eyes and expressing some form of human contact? Would you listen to someone who needs to be heard.Oh God, please help us love each other!
Sometimes when people tell me I'm special, I'm tempted to think they just like being loved. They just think it's cool being seen, or heard, or spoken to in the present tense and moment... Funny idea, isn't it?
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2 comments:
over here people just don't ask. not sure what is worse - a fake smile or total ignorance. i guess they both stink, but sometimes i feel like i'd rather enjoy a fake smile of another person (unless i really dislike him / her and they are only smiling to make their point and brag how good their lives are...)... one of the things i love in the US is that you can talk to almost anyone and smile at people and they will most likely smile back. cashiers, bus drivers, totally random people on the street, doesn't matter who. (although i guess random smiles from random people are sometimes better than the ones you get at Church - since they are sort of required...)...
but then... i sometimes ignore people just because i can't fake a smile and i don't want to say anything bad to them. probably not the right way to do it, but it's a way to escape conflict.
hmmm.....
*off the soapbox* thank you for the food for thoughts...
Authenticity is a rather formal, but important word. I don't know if the decision came with age or just the fatigue of "pretending," but my wife and I decided a long time ago now that "what you see is what you get." That meant when we met with church boards, we were ourselves - passionate about some things, lacking in some skills, but real in every way. Sometimes that authenticity slips up to please other people, but we still strive to be authentic, real. We are still trying to practice that skill or lesson. We have not perfected it, but that really is our aim. Sorry to be so long, but you have hit another chord in my heart. I want to be authentic, as Jesus called us to be. (Matt 5:37)
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