This morning I'll read of Isaiah having a vision of God in the temple. And I hope to wonder aloud about my own visions of the Invisible One, and the ways that One encouraged me to pursue. As a child, when I wanted to kneel in front of the sanctuary like the adults...was there something profound in that? I still remember it forty-four years later.
And then in a fifth grade Social Studies/Geography class I said for the first time what I wanted to be..."A diplomat." That vision remains a clear and distinct calling for me to this day. I represent one kingdom, while living in another--or several others.
And in church youth camp, "I want to be a missionary." And I have been, and always enjoy trips to teach or serve in other cultures. Then in college, "I want to run a retreat center and just help people be away and think about their lives and faith." Oh yes, I've enjoyed speaking at dozens of retreats and still hope a retreat director position could be a part of my future.
And in my twenty-second year, "I want to really know that I know the one I believe in. I want to be real." And those words drove me to a month of desperate seeking and a lifetime of longing.
Let me ask you: As you retrace your journey, where have you been confronted by the Holy One and desires that seem to come from those visions? Are you open to God's calling? What part of you resists? What part of you is still awake?
If you haven't read my novel The Runaway Pastor, you can see the first seven chapters by clicking the link above and on the right. And if you want to read my newest--BREAKERS--you can go to the post immediately below and find links to read it.
Grace and peace to you.
2 comments:
hmm... food for thought...
i have wanted to be a doctor first (then realized that i'll burn out soon because i would not be able to distance myself from the patients and the perfectionist streak in me would say that i've got to help.. yet people die and that would sometimes mean that i did not do something (even if i did everything)... then i thought that i like teaching - sharing what i know. that hasn't yet worked out (even though i have been a sunday school teacher for a bit)
i guess my true calling is being a bridge, as i like to call it. a bridge in a sense that given my knowledge of languages, i can unite people from different countries, cultures, and continents... and that's really a big blessing - to know that you can help other people to understand each other better. and also i often feel like a bridge because i keep finding myself torn between people who don't really like each other, yet i like / love both sides... and i try to do whatever is in my hands to reconcile them... (with a bit of my own agenda there as well - i don't like being torn:)
a few of my friends have told me time and again that i have a prophecy gift. and although i am more of a Jeremiah a lot of times (saying "oh, i'm just a kid! what can i possibly tell the people who are older and wiser than me?"), i guess in a sense i am a prophet... in a sense that for me often it's easy to see the situation as it really is and try to warn / guide people to the right path. i am still learning to actually say it out loud, being an introvert, but God's started the work in me and He promised to finish it, so i am in for a ride.
I am full of thoughts, yet without the words to express those thoughts. Or... maybe just without the courage to speak the words that will express those thoughts. Hmmm.....
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