Higher Ways and A "Calling"

This morning I'll read of Isaiah having a vision of God in the temple. And I hope to wonder aloud about my own visions of the Invisible One, and the ways that One encouraged me to pursue. As a child, when I wanted to kneel in front of the sanctuary like the adults...was there something profound in that? I still remember it forty-four years later.

And then in a fifth grade Social Studies/Geography class I said for the first time what I wanted to be..."A diplomat." That vision remains a clear and distinct calling for me to this day. I represent one kingdom, while living in another--or several others.

And in church youth camp, "I want to be a missionary." And I have been, and always enjoy trips to teach or serve in other cultures. Then in college, "I want to run a retreat center and just help people be away and think about their lives and faith." Oh yes, I've enjoyed speaking at dozens of retreats and still hope a retreat director position could be a part of my future.

And in my twenty-second year, "I want to really know that I know the one I believe in. I want to be real." And those words drove me to a month of desperate seeking and a lifetime of longing.

Let me ask you: As you retrace your journey, where have you been confronted by the Holy One and desires that seem to come from those visions? Are you open to God's calling? What part of you resists? What part of you is still awake?

If you haven't read my novel The Runaway Pastor, you can see the first seven chapters by clicking the link above and on the right. And if you want to read my newest--BREAKERS--you can go to the post immediately below and find links to read it.

Grace and peace to you.

The Beatles/A Hymn/and A Sunday Morning Pastor

Before reading, please sing the Beatle's Eleanor Rigby. Done? Make sure the chorus is playing in your head... All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong? Ahhh, look at all the lonely people...(repeat last phrase.) So, are you with me now?

On Sunday mornings, I awake thinking of the day ahead. I rise earlier than most any morning of the week and go downstairs to my chair. I pray. I seek strength. I rehearse my sermon for the morning--sifting it through my spirit and hopefully a Greater One. And I feel alone.

Around the area where I live I know there are people, preparing to rendezvous with me at the "meeting place." (I always like that Quaker title better than "church.") I begin seeing their faces. There are parents who are hurting for sick or rebellious children. Elderly who are wondering if they can make it again ("Just hanging in there," I'll hear one say in another few hours). There are some couples struggling to stay faithful--or who have no idea their spouse is. There are teenagers doing life as if it feels like walking through deep oncoming water--or motor oil. There are single people wishing they were loved. There are people awaiting a diagnosis...cancer? There are children who will run to me for a hug. (God bless the children.)

And somehow in the strange way we do church, I will be a key to providing hope and healing to all of these.

I pray for the strength--the faith to perform.

I weep here alone in my chair, before anyone else gets up.

And I go to facebook hoping for a friend. One pastor after another has already been there, or drops-by while I am. Some mention sermon topics, others psych themselves up with a positive statement. And none of us comment on the others, or speak using the chat feature. We post no notes to each other. What can we say? We are storming the beaches today, and once again, we wonder if we'll survive.

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from ?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong ?

Father mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working. darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Eleanor rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father mckenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
RECORDED BY THE BEATLES

And there is another text, this one by Edwin Hatch:
Breathe on me, Breath of God,
fill me with life anew,
that I may love what thou dost love,
and do what thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me, Breath of God,
until my heart is pure,
until with thee I will one will,
to do and to endure.

Breathe on me, Breath of God,
till I am wholly thine,
till all this earthly part of me
glows with thy fire divine.

AMEN

Chapter 3 of BREAKERS is Coming!

I have chapter three of Breakers in the bag, and plan to post it next Monday--March 23. I wanted to let you know if you checked back in.

I'm not sure how far I'll be going with this. The Runaway Pastor takes some powerful twists and turns after the first chapters, and I've been hesitant to post more than the first seven chapters of it. I don't want to give up too much of a book we are trying to market. But Breakers is a different thing. I probably have an estimated 16 chapters printed on this one, and as I remember, nothing too much is "given away" at the end of them. So I may just go for a while. Or maybe a publisher will jump in and say, "Wow, that's a best-seller in the making! Let's buy it!" Well, if that happens, all of you "comment and encourage" people won't be forgotten:-).

Hey, speaking of publishing, I want to put in a mercenary line or two here. A blog of this sort is a free way for me to have people read what I've written. And a few hundred different people from all over the country and around the world have shown interest in The Runaway Pastor already. That is gratifying, and has happened largely through word of mouth advertising by people like you. Thanks. And, if you like what you read here, please pass the word along. Tell friends, copy and paste the URL to people you think might like this theme.

If you haven't guessed, there is a thorny issue (at least one) in the plot of Breakers. A Christian minister guy is getting somewhat interested in an irreligious girl. This story is allowing me to explore questions of the walls which separate us...especially those that Christians seem to erect that Jesus didn't.

I've spent my life crossing borders of suspicion, culture and class. I've never met a person in which I don't see the stamp of the image of God. I believe deeply in all people--that each of us are potential representatives of the love of God. Breakers is giving me the chance to work out this idea.

By the way, this book probably needs a title besides this working one. Got an idea? Maybe after you read a bit further you will? I've also thought about "Worlds Apart." That feels a bit clumsy though.

Keep your eyes out here next Monday for chapter 3 of Breakers. And have a few friends look in as well.

Peace to you.
David

The Runaway Pastor: Prologue?

It wasn’t as if he didn’t care. Indeed, there were many people and things he loved. And he could remember days when a painful depression cursed his every waking thought. No, it wasn’t that.

A nagging web stretched across his path, more disgusting--intimidating--than limiting. It must be cleared away, lest the fibers smother his existence—the question proving to have no proper answer.

Having lived with fiery passion dictating his actions, his every moment; he feared his life held no more tinder. A widening gulf appeared before him; the expanse between his life, and his purpose, seemed insurmountable. A man may, after all, own loves, yet loose direction.

Perhaps this fearsome abyss was that which drove him out from himself--seeking some resuscitating-bracing breath, something after which to dream--for longing was missing in his living.

More of The Runaway Pastor: Part Four--Parable of the Gym

Well, here is another section of Trent's parable. Thanks for the comments on the last one. This one is a little more edgy than the last, yet, I think it has a lot of truth in it. Trent was hurting when he wrote this, so I guess we can expect him to be a bit to-the-point.

So let me know what you think.

Peace.

More of The Runaway Pastor: Part Three--Parable of the Gym

Well, here it is, Part 3 of Trent's Parable of the Gym. This part of Trent's journal entry may be a bit more controversial. That is not the goal. However, his thoughts are shared by more and more leaders in the church.

A friend sent me the link to the article below. It is from Pastor Walt Kalstead of Phoenix, AZ. Walt pastors a mega church there, and I challenge you to read how his heart is being changed in this article entitled "Showtime." Please check it out! What he says is more important than what I write here.

I've had a handful of opportunities to interview at churches pushing a thousand in attendance during my ministry. It has been a long time, however, since I've had any interest in such churches. I am not saying larger churches are not viable, I am saying two things. First, I'm not a capable enough CEO to do such ministry. And second, a church needing a CEO doesn't interest me.

Well, anyway, click the above link to the third of five parts of Trent's Parable of the Gym. Please comment after reading. Your emails are nice, but the conversation we could have here with your insights will be more stimulating.

Grace and peace to you.

THE RUNAWAY PASTOR: True Story?

I have often been asked if The Runaway Pastor is a true story, or if it is based upon one. It is based on many true stories.

Many men and women are cut out perfectly for the role of pastoral ministry in this day when "bigger, means better." They are often blessed with the multiple talents of organization, leadership, management, motivation, and institutional development; as well as being gifted with sympathy, the abilities to teach and preach and to make their faith real to "outsiders". These are wonderful people--and rare.

I spend a lot of time thinking these days of smaller, sustainable, organic house churches as a preferable model for some leaders. I am more and more convinced that much of what our success-models have pushed us into, is a lovely and large cruise ship with little ability to maneuver in the post-modern waters of our times. On the other hand, the smaller congregations seem quite adept at relational, conversational, servant-oriented ministry that is so effective in these days.

And don't get me wrong, churches are usually good places with good people. The runaway thing is typically not an issue of some ogre institution chewing up, and spitting out its leaders. No, ministry has simply become a very broad and demanding job emotionally, mentally and physically. And the greater the desire to love a congregation (that for some of us means always pleasing), and to lead a congregation to mega-greatness, the greater the tendency to burn-out.

Some pastors are strong in the leadership/management skill sets, and weak in the caring ones. And others, like Trent in The Runaway Pastor, are the other way around. Churches can be filled with wonderful people, but the institution itself demands a very highly gifted and well rounded person to carry-off the gig. Many find themselves incapable, or tired trying to keep up. That, in my opinion, is where the runaways come from.

I can remember like yesterday, conversations with middle-aged and broken pastors, when I was first starting in ministry. I would often come away from such conversations thinking: "I'll never be like that." Or, "Why are they so negative?" It is true that many pastors never run from their ministry, but wish they could. When they signed-up for ministry, they believed they could spend a lifetime caring for others, teaching and speaking about faith. Their spiritual gifts and their training equipped them for this. However, once in the roles of ministry, they found different expectations, and overwhelming stresses.

And the stigma of having a "calling," is a difficult one to break out of. When I was called to serve as a missionary, and signed a career contract, coming home was the most humiliating step I ever took. (It also, however, saved my family.) We left the US as heroes, and returned perceived as embarrassments to the church. Before leaving, I spoke in large churches, three of our university chapels and many district church gatherings. But after returning, we were not even included in the introductions of "former missionaries" at our own district's meetings. (Like Trent, The Runaway Pastor at Baylor's Bend, I understand now that my [cross-cultural and] people-loving skill sets were strong; however my organizational and institutional motivations and abilities were inadequate.)

Many in the church push young people to profess a "calling," and if they ever testify to such a calling, the mold is cast. I remember my boyhood pastors telling me, "If you can do anything else, and know that God would still love you, do it." But once I said I was called, and after leaving for college to study, even my most sincere doubts of such a calling had to be squelched. From early days in college, and throughout my ministry, the only respectable path has been to keep on plugging.

Today, many pastors quit in their early years of ministry, or even before beginning a pastoral career. (There is probably less of a stigma than there used to be, and a deeper belief in God's grace.) A common statistic now is that half of those who do study for ministry, get out during their first 10 years. I know several young men who went to a denominational school to study for pastoral ministry less than ten years ago. Of the group who took the four year course, none of them are pursuing the job of pastor now. One of them--a recent seminary grad--told a family member that his seminary years and college studies were largely wasted. He's getting out now. Others have diverted into such caring ministries as hospital chaplaincies.

Multiple pastors have told me they spend time dreaming of what else they could do to earn a living. There are web sites for pastors looking for a new start. That is another part of the "trapped" feeling. Training in Greek and Hebrew, hermeneutics, preaching, etc. does little for a resume in the "real world." Pastors have told me of scheming to commit enough of a crime to get kicked out of their church, without going to jail or losing their family. Others have told me they wish they could get in the car and drive as far away as their savings could take them. Others have told me they wish they could die, or become debilitated.

And then there are those who do find a way out. Some, with great wisdom realize their skill sets are welcomed in varying 501C3s, the teaching community, or other professional career paths. Unfortunately, affairs, internet pornography, or complete emotional breakdowns have taken many. And perhaps, the leading way out is actually more of a switching of the channel: Some change congregations and home towns once every two, four or six years....