A Ticket to Ride

One of the major themes of the novel, The Runaway Pastor, is commitment. Promises are broken, yet reconsidered. Vows are reassessed, wrestled with. A train whistle haunted my writing of the book.

I've ridden trains, mainly brief commuter trips, or European city to city hops. And all trains everywhere have one thing in common: Once you board and the train begins to move, you have no power to change directions on a whim, no matter how much you might feel the need for such a turn.

While in the former USSR, our children were very young. My wife and I spent a great deal of time planning what we would do, should the rapidly opening and closing doors of the subway cars somehow separate us from one another. The nightmare scenario-- which thankfully never took place--was the possibility of our children exiting at a station, and the train moving forward with us still aboard. Imagine the panic of a parent, longing for the train to return to the station, yet knowing there is no stopping until the next.

During my years as a pastor, I've had the privilege of helping a hundred or so couples promise their lives to one another. Are there ever moments in married life when one partner or the other believes they might wish to go back, and reconsider their vows? Of course. It is at those moments, that vows are like a train ticket. No couple wishes to pledge themselves to love, cherish, have and hold one-another for the "next little while." Brides and grooms hold a passionate belief that each is committed to forever. You buy the ticket planning to arrive at the other end of the line together. It costs you your sacred promise. And you board the train when you make those vows.

My October 1979 promises have landed me 29 years down the track, riding with the same love. We've gone through storms that rocked the carriage. We've struggled at stops here and there. But we bought one ticket, and boarded one train. I'm so grateful for the promise that has carried us to this place. Without our vows, we each might have criss-crossed our lives in short bursts one way, and then the other.

Where are you going? What have you pledged your life to? Why not land in the place you committed to go in the first place? To where have you purchased a ticket?

Runaway Pastor: Newest version of Chapters 1-7

Here is the latest edition of the first seven chapters of The Runaway Pastor.

It has been a fun journey to date. Thanks for all of the nice things you are saying. I still welcome comments. I'm doing quite a bit of shifting around with the Parable of the Gym. You may not see much more of that until publication.

Of course, no new Runaway publication would be complete without a reminder that I am sitting in my cabin with my wife of 29 years, and completely happy in my marriage. And, I love the people of the church I pastor. I am not Trent Atkins, he is fiction. But, he is indeed representative of so many people, not pastors alone, who struggle with the current business model adopted by so much of Christendom in the west.

Grace and peace to you.

Parable of the Gym: Parts 1-4

Several of you have requested that I link all four parts of The Parable of the Gym together. You can click on the title and read them. By the way, there is more to this parable than I have published. And I am preparing to do an edit of these, so your remarks via comment or email are welcomed.

I really hesitated to post this. The parable is a stinging rebuke of the church from Trent, the main character in my novel. He is hurting deeply, and as people who hurt often do, he writes in a stream of conscientiousness that leaves no room for editing. So perhaps it is unfair. However, the parable was written after many conversations with hurting pastors and faithful church people. And, I wrote in the midst of my own dark days of burnout.

I publish the parable here not as a declaration against any church or denomination. I love mine. Rather, it is a starting place for discussion, and I believe holds many painful truths about how the church presents herself to a world that needs her message. Even if spiritually seeking people are wrong about how they perceive their treatment at the hands of the church, to them their perception is--well--their perception.

Wherever Jesus ministered, he was most often loved and admired by those outside of his religious circles. And those inside of it? Not so much. Does today's church find itself being the person and presence of Jesus to the world? Or are we playing the role of those to whom Jesus issued his most stern of warnings?

Grace and peace to you as you seek to be the person and presence of Jesus.

Runaway Pastor: Just for fun--Who is reading?

Just for fun! In the spirit of the NFL Play-Offs and the BCS bowl games, I thought it might be fun, (or at least interesting) to post the current standings on various states visiting this website over the past month. (OK, this is goofy!)

Most visitors are reading the front page, and then chapters 1-7 and The Parable of the Gym entries.

First, for the national standings:
1st place: The United States of America
2nd place: Ukraine
3rd place: Israel

Next, for the state standings:
1st: Indiana
2nd: California
3rd: New York
4th: Michigan
5th: Tennessee
6th: Texas
7th: Utah
8th: Arkansas
9th: Kansas
10th: Georgia

So in the spirit of competition, let's talk it up, and I'll keep you posting on how your state is doing. (There are ten other states close to making the top ten.)

And, since Ukraine is doing such a stellar job (with Zena our most courageous and prolific commentator) and the Eastern Christmas is upon us, С РОЖДЕСТВОМ!!

The Runaway Pastor--An Intro

Following is a brief introduction to The Runaway Pastor, a new novel I'm seeking to publish.

The first seven chapters are available by clicking the hot button at the top right hand side of this page. I need feedback, so let me know what you think. And if you look in here now and then, why not add yourself as a follower. I'm gathering a list of those interested in the book.

Pastor Trent is The Runaway Pastor from the beginning. His job is hollow and empty—a CEO nightmare. He and his wife Natalie play the role of the perfect couple, yet their long drift away from friendship and intimacy leave them cold toward one another. So he plots his escape, and disappears. His plan is so thorough, neither his congregation at Baylor’s Bend, nor his wife has any idea where he has gone.

In his new life, various circumstances provide opportunities for Trent to emerge as a peacemaker, and a man of mercy and grace. Living life outside of “the ministry,” Trent finds the exercise of his ministry gifts to be exhilarating and natural. But trouble waits.

Trent’s betrayal drives Natalie to hire an investigator, and makes her vulnerable to the advances of a church staff member. Kim, a beautiful and single friend of Trent’s new boss, is a spiritual seeker. She and Trent spend long evenings on the beach wondering about the sacred, sharing their tragic stories, and soon they fall for one another.

Jump into the pain behind one pastor who took "career success" a bit too seriously. Is there any hope?


Remember! This story is NOT autobiographical. It is, however the fruit of many conversations with other pastors, and a three year period of burnout I experienced. For any old friends out there, Natalie is not my wife. My wife and I are very happy 29 years and 2 months into our marriage.

Read on!

The Runaway Pastor: Prologue?

It wasn’t as if he didn’t care. Indeed, there were many people and things he loved. And he could remember days when a painful depression cursed his every waking thought. No, it wasn’t that.

A nagging web stretched across his path, more disgusting--intimidating--than limiting. It must be cleared away, lest the fibers smother his existence—the question proving to have no proper answer.

Having lived with fiery passion dictating his actions, his every moment; he feared his life held no more tinder. A widening gulf appeared before him; the expanse between his life, and his purpose, seemed insurmountable. A man may, after all, own loves, yet loose direction.

Perhaps this fearsome abyss was that which drove him out from himself--seeking some resuscitating-bracing breath, something after which to dream--for longing was missing in his living.

"Witnessing"

In my novel, The Runaway Pastor, there is a scene where Trent is asked by a new friend about his faith. Here is the question, and how Trent approaches his answer.

“Talk to me about your faith, Trent.”


She followed his eyes as he looked out over the sea and the moon, and toward the stars. “Love made all of this. Love so intense it reaches out to you and me and says ‘love me back!’ And I do. I love Love back. And Carman—that woman we met today lying on the street—has been so unloved, that Love begged me to love her. So I did.”


“That’s…that’s beautiful. I think. Does this love have a name, or a religious circle where it hangs out?” Kim asked.


“I think Love’s name is Jesus. And I’m not sure where He hangs out anymore.”

So what is your response to this method of Trent sharing his faith?
Will an answer like this ever meet the need expressed by the questioner?
Why didn't Trent use Jesus' name until pushed for the identity of "Love?"
Would you ever use such an indirect approach to answer such a question about your fatih? Why, or why not?

I've been wanting to get some feedback on various sections of the book, so here is an invitation for you to start a conversation.

Are there any other snippets of the novel you'd like to see discussed?

David

More of The Runaway Pastor: Part Four--Parable of the Gym

Well, here is another section of Trent's parable. Thanks for the comments on the last one. This one is a little more edgy than the last, yet, I think it has a lot of truth in it. Trent was hurting when he wrote this, so I guess we can expect him to be a bit to-the-point.

So let me know what you think.

Peace.

More of The Runaway Pastor: Part Three--Parable of the Gym

Well, here it is, Part 3 of Trent's Parable of the Gym. This part of Trent's journal entry may be a bit more controversial. That is not the goal. However, his thoughts are shared by more and more leaders in the church.

A friend sent me the link to the article below. It is from Pastor Walt Kalstead of Phoenix, AZ. Walt pastors a mega church there, and I challenge you to read how his heart is being changed in this article entitled "Showtime." Please check it out! What he says is more important than what I write here.

I've had a handful of opportunities to interview at churches pushing a thousand in attendance during my ministry. It has been a long time, however, since I've had any interest in such churches. I am not saying larger churches are not viable, I am saying two things. First, I'm not a capable enough CEO to do such ministry. And second, a church needing a CEO doesn't interest me.

Well, anyway, click the above link to the third of five parts of Trent's Parable of the Gym. Please comment after reading. Your emails are nice, but the conversation we could have here with your insights will be more stimulating.

Grace and peace to you.

Christmas for The Runaway Pastor

This has been an interesting experiment. My site counter shows many people showing up here, and downloading the book chapters or parts of the Parable of the Gym that Trent wrote. Hundreds of people! People have been active on the site from every corner of the US. It is exciting to see. However, while I can see what states and cities are logging on, and how many minutes and pages they visit, and how many clicks into the book happen, I have no list of followers. I'd like to know who is out there.

OK, here are three ways you can tell me you exist. First, you can be a follower. The process for this is way easier than you may think. If you've never done this, but are interested in The Runaway Pastor, do me a favor and identify yourself.

Second, you can comment! It is also an easy process. And you can remain anonymous doing either of these if you name yourself accordingly. But I know these two things seem a bit risky to some of you...you don't want to be seen in the cyberworld. So, there is another option...

Finally, you can simply email me. I'd love to hear from you, whatever you think. This too is very simple. Below my profile, way down the right hand side bar, you will find "Send me an email." And that is where you click and email me.

Also, if you let me know your contact information, I am beginning to build a list of people who would want to know when the book is published. I would love to autograph books that early "followers" buy. (As well as those who otherwise notify me of their interest in the book now.) Remember, I need your contact info, so if you are a follower, but leave me no email or other contact info, I cannot find you.

All I want for Christmas is a good list of those mystery people in points around the country (and globe) who are following the progress of this novel's publication. (I couldn't make those words fit into the "Two Front Teeth" song, but you could try.)

Grace and peace to you!

David

First Seven Chapters, and feedback.

One of the most gratifying aspects of putting The Runaway Pastor out here, is all of the comments and communications I've received. It's amazing.

(Once again, here is the link for the first seven chapters:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_9cdf4g7cb)

One way this has happened is by getting an email, or telephone or Facebook communication from someone telling me they are reading the book...following it right here at this blog.

Another amazing thing has been the range of readers. It's a cool thing to look at your blog "Followers" list, and see it grow, especially when the people there are complete strangers.

And then when friends I haven't seen or spoken to for a decade or so, come on board and tell me they are intrigued, it's just flat-out fun.

And talk about fun, it is kind of unbelievable to go to my web counter service, and see that 10, 20, 30 or more people went to the site the day before, and to see the percentage of those who were first time visitors.

Why does this mean so much to me? I believe the message of the book--in its entirety--is important. As you read on, you will learn a lot about Trent's hopes and fears for the church...and I believe they reflect a major portion of our society. The church is changing, and Trent's actions are a symptom--not of the end of the Church, but of a renewal. And that birthing, as with all birthings, involves pain. However, I want to emphasize that Christ's Church is not in trouble. It is only changing.

Once again, my plan is to develop a following for this book, in order to get it published. Christian authors and publishers are telling me that here, on the internet, is the place to gather a market for a book. So if you are interested in what is happening here, tell your friends, and I need your continued feedback via: Email, Comments to posts at this blog, and more people becoming "followers." (It is also helpful when you set up the RSS feed, so that you are notified when there is something new here.)

Some of you are asking just how much of this novel I plan to put up on line for free. I don't know. I do know that once I can be certain of a few hundred copies being ordered, I can proceed with a first edition, and not lose so much in the process. So I'm told this process takes time, but that it will indeed grow if there is a legitimate interest. Either way, I'm OK.

Peace.

The Runaway Pastor: Chapters 3-4

For those of you who are new to the site, I've been posting a new chapter of my novel The Runaway Pastor each week or so. Since beginning, there has been growing interest in the book. That is the purpose of placing the chapters here. I'm hoping to "grow a market" organically here on-line. If the interest begins to fade, I'll catch the hint, and work at this in a different way.

It's bonus week. Instead of adding chapter 3 alone this week, I've decided to add chapter four along with it. They seemed to fit together.

I believe the book could spark some important conversations amongst pastors, as well as with those who care about them. If you believe this is the case, you need to tell me; and you need to connect others to this site. Again, if you don't, you need to tell me, and I'll catch on.

Keep the editing ideas coming, and let me know what you think.

Once more, let me remind you: Trent is not me. Natalie is not my wife. Read that again.

Hey, thanks for following along, and hold on...these are important, yet tough chapters. Feedback please...

Here are chapters 3 & 4. http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_3cfsxnr4p

And for conveniance, here are all of the chapters I've put up so far. http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_2d3mg88c3

David

Here is Chapter 2! Thanks for asking!

The Runaway Pastor Chapter One:
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dhdr3wvs_0d87ks7hp

And now Chapter Two:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhdr3wvs_1gm2qxcd9&hl=en
(You copy and paste the link into your browser window.)

I hope you will read with an editor's eye. I need your ideas and corrections.

Here are a few of the comments you have given me about the first chapter:

I found your first chapter grabbing my attention and identification. Well written and creative. I'm not sure how objective I can be, as being a pastor myself causes me to find more than a normal level of empathy. I am looking forward to chapter 2.

and

If you haven't read chapter 1, go and read it. Then send the link to all your pastor friends. After they read the first chapter, why not talk about it with your friends. Those who are honest will say their middle name is Trent.

and

I read the first chapter and was instantly hooked. Looking forward to the rest.

I guess as a rookie author, all of this is pretty exciting to me. So use this blog to record your thoughts on the second chapter.

First Chapter of THE RUNAWAY PASTOR

The Runaway Pastor--chapter 1.I have finally placed the first chapter of my novel on-line. I will post more in the days and weeks ahead. PLEASE understand the following: The main character in the book is not me. His wife is not my wife. His church is not my congregation.

However, I wrote this novel out of experience and after hundreds of conversations with many pastor friends. I love the church and I am grateful to the service that clergy give her. I hope this book provides an inside look into the life of one pastor that came to the end of what he could do.

Please respond. I am posting this in order to gather some interest in the final product, which is not yet published. I look forward to your input and interest. For now it is in WORD format. Let me know if that is a problem.

Here is the link:
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=dhdr3wvs_0d87ks7hp
Thanks for taking the time.

New Book

I have written and am preparing for publication a novel about a pastor who ran away. He lost his passion for ministry midst doing church CEO work. And he lost his wife because he was never home.

And so he made a plan. And he ran away to the other side of the country, and no one had a clue where he was. Hey pastor, have you ever wanted to run?

This blog will be a place for pastors who hurt. I'd like for it to be a grace dispensing place for those of us who haven't run, even though we've considered it. Check in now and then, and soon I'll post a portion of my book. Maybe you'll be able to relate.