Human Touch, and Divine

There are joy-filled touches in human relationships. Hurts and joys felt so deeply, they threaten to undo us.

In a theater with family the other evening. My arm is around my wife, and my hand rests on the skin of her upper arm. The tenderness in that moment plowed through my soul with such force, I lost track of the movie, and time. I only wanted to feel and hold onto her and that fleeting instant.

Cradling my grand-daughter in my arms, then laying her in my lap and looking in her eyes. She begins to coo and speak with me. I speak and am quiet. She "speaks," then waits. Eventually, she wiggles her entire body trying to "say" what is in her. She smiles and I melt.

Sometimes when my children hurt or are sick, I'll hold them and tell them I'm leaking love into them. Or I'll say I'm soaking healing into them through my embrace. And I believe it.

What does love look like? I'm not always sure. But I know what it feels like. It stops time, it suspends my needs, it invokes deep passion for the better of the other.

I think of Jesus calling his Father, "Abba." The word is like our "Daddy," or "Papa." We are told the relationships within the Trinity are perfectly loving. I want to understand that. I want to believe that when I make my noises and wiggle with my fears and strive in my praying that somewhere, somehow God hears me and gets it. And then, I want to believe God begins to embrace and leak love into me...

Take peace in such hope.

BREAKERS: First 8 Chapters! And THE RUNAWAY PASTOR Feedback Needed.

Hey, thanks for your interest and for asking for a copy of the first 8 chapters all in one document. BREAKERS is giving us an opportunity to explore on one level the idea of a Christian dating a non-Christian. More importantly, we explore some commonly accepted assumptions regarding how we define "Christian."

So welcome. Click here to read the first eight chapters of BREAKERS! And as always, please give me some feedback on the check boxes below, or via the comment option, or email me at samshill@sbcglobal.net.

IMPORTANT!! Also, I had a nice call from my agent yesterday. Once again, a couple of publishing houses have shown interest in The Runaway Pastor manuscript. I'll keep you posted on any progress, if it comes. If you have read the posted chapters of The Runaway Pastor, then I have a request to make. I need to compile a list of comments for my agent to use. Would you send me a short paragraph on facebook, or comment here or email me at samshill@sbcglobal.net? I would appreciate it.

I'll look forward to hearing from you.

Peace.

BREAKERS: Chapter Seven

Well, here it is...click here for chapter seven of my new novel BREAKERS.

Feedback please...

Breakers: Chapter Six--Thanks for asking!

Here is chapter six. It was fun to create. I'm re-writing in this chapter, so it's pretty much new...except for Jon. He's been like this for years.

Please comment, check responses and if you are enjoying Breakers, why not tell some friends?

So DIVE IN HERE!

Grace and Peace to you.
david

Human Touch, and Hard to Reach Places

Have living and longing ever been aching neighbors in your soul? Life in a full-contact world with its disloyalties and treasons, its touching-caressing--intimate chasms--ahh, the people I meet often express in words--or without them--a deep and desperate longing to be known. To be touched in some invisible place where touch is life. And surely there is no physical way to reach so far as to touch a soul, unless it be with spirit?

Do you think the woman caught in adultery and brought to Jesus early in the morning--evidently after a night in adulterous passion--do you think she had any aching longings? Do you think the tryst had been planned for a week or so, that she had wept at the kitchen sink thinking of the damage her longing might cause? Was she aching when she rendezvoused for the illegitimate night, or when she was caught and dragged into public--her aches being shouted as accusations into the public gathering? (And what about the guy that evidently was escaping the mob? Where is he?)

I'm thinking of Eleanor Rigby again, but look at each face in the mob, look at the woman facing certain death by stoning. Look at the people watching, and those being handed stones and then look at the face of Jesus. In the midst of all the aching longing in that public courtyard, Jesus alone was ready to touch everyone present in a deep place where no one can reach with a hand, or scalpel. Maybe he was humming Eleanor Rigby?

He disbands the crowd with words that affirm their aching and their futile attempt at release. And then he looks to the woman...fresh from her treason. And instead of seeing the despicable disloyalty, he thinks of her aching longings. That her hopelessness last night had taken her at high risks to a secret place. She had ignored fears of being caught, or of sinning--in hopes of being known. She had thrown caution to the wind and run to the shelter of another soul, hoping to be touched deeply and lovingly. And perhaps she had felt that touch in the night, in his arms. But how quickly hope faded into disaster...until she was touched by Jesus.

Could her aching have been a desire to feel OK? A need to feel that all of her human failures were forgiven? Could she have wanted to know that someone somewhere looked at her and saw beauty, something worth the risk of possessing. Ah, look at all the lonely people.

When the crowd had left, Jesus asked, "Woman, where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?"

She answered, "No one, Lord."

Then Jesus spoke the words that reached deep inside of her, to her soul. And they weren't just words, they were healing vibrations--human/spiritual/psychological touch. (OK, divine as well, but I'm really into kenosis for all of you theologians--Phil 2:5-11, or C. Wesley--"He emptied himself of all but love..." But I digress.) He said, I don't condemn you either. Go and stop sinning." (This story is in the Christian New Testament, book of John chapter 8 and verses 2-11--you can find the verses by those tiny numbers before each sentence or so.)

I guess that is why my faith rests in Jesus. Not in a Jesus who says, "Go and stop sinning and then I won't condemn you and I'll think you're OK." But the one who says, "I don't condemn you, I love you. I see your beauty and dignity. Stop seeking life where it isn't."

I'm aching so deeply for a few people right now. And I'm praying for the way to speak peace to their aching longing and living.

Grace and peace to you. You are loved, just as you are, more than you can imagine.

Chapter 3 of BREAKERS is Coming!

I have chapter three of Breakers in the bag, and plan to post it next Monday--March 23. I wanted to let you know if you checked back in.

I'm not sure how far I'll be going with this. The Runaway Pastor takes some powerful twists and turns after the first chapters, and I've been hesitant to post more than the first seven chapters of it. I don't want to give up too much of a book we are trying to market. But Breakers is a different thing. I probably have an estimated 16 chapters printed on this one, and as I remember, nothing too much is "given away" at the end of them. So I may just go for a while. Or maybe a publisher will jump in and say, "Wow, that's a best-seller in the making! Let's buy it!" Well, if that happens, all of you "comment and encourage" people won't be forgotten:-).

Hey, speaking of publishing, I want to put in a mercenary line or two here. A blog of this sort is a free way for me to have people read what I've written. And a few hundred different people from all over the country and around the world have shown interest in The Runaway Pastor already. That is gratifying, and has happened largely through word of mouth advertising by people like you. Thanks. And, if you like what you read here, please pass the word along. Tell friends, copy and paste the URL to people you think might like this theme.

If you haven't guessed, there is a thorny issue (at least one) in the plot of Breakers. A Christian minister guy is getting somewhat interested in an irreligious girl. This story is allowing me to explore questions of the walls which separate us...especially those that Christians seem to erect that Jesus didn't.

I've spent my life crossing borders of suspicion, culture and class. I've never met a person in which I don't see the stamp of the image of God. I believe deeply in all people--that each of us are potential representatives of the love of God. Breakers is giving me the chance to work out this idea.

By the way, this book probably needs a title besides this working one. Got an idea? Maybe after you read a bit further you will? I've also thought about "Worlds Apart." That feels a bit clumsy though.

Keep your eyes out here next Monday for chapter 3 of Breakers. And have a few friends look in as well.

Peace to you.
David

BREAKERS: Chapters 1, 2 and 3

Hope you had a great weekend. I had a chance on Friday (my day off) to do the third chapter. This has really been fun for me. Like I said earlier, this book crashed with a hard drive several years ago, and I had only printed out a bit of it. I began writing it about 8 or so years back. So Cam and Kenna are like old friends, and they struggle with stuff that interests me. I've always hoped for a chance to get back to Breakers. Thanks for encouraging me along the way. I'm grateful.

You can click here to go and read the first three chapters of the book.

Again, your comments both spoken and written are appreciated. I welcome any suggestions, editing or ideas for the book. Just send them to me here or on my email, which is listed along the side bar to the right. Example, I'm not married to the title of the book. Maybe you would like to suggest another? Have at it.

I'll look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for reading. And if you like it, tell your friends please!

Peace to you.

David

Sweater Hugs

I got the greatest sweater for Christmas this year! It fits just right, and is made from a wool that is perfect--it breathes, yet keeps me warm. I've already worn it while hiking in the mountains and at my Sunday morning job. I've worn it for dressy stuff and to work in the wood pile. I love my new sweater.

Last April, Shelly started knitting it at my mother's home. I had no idea she was weaving me this love-gift for the better part of the year. But every time I put it on I remember. She has held it in her hands. She has stitched each fiber, and looped it together in just the right combinations of knitting and pearling (whatever that means) and now it is my most treasured inanimate companion.

I'm working in a coffee house away from home this morning. I've thought of many of you today. Your face has come before my mind for one reason or another. And as I've sensed the Presence, I've been asking (imagining is a better word) that you are enveloped in your creator's perfect fit. Kept warm near life's cold shoulders, safe from sharp edges, and yet free to move--plenty of room to breath.

Soak in your Life today, and why not weave a prayer of love for those in your circles.

Cozy.

A Ticket to Ride

One of the major themes of the novel, The Runaway Pastor, is commitment. Promises are broken, yet reconsidered. Vows are reassessed, wrestled with. A train whistle haunted my writing of the book.

I've ridden trains, mainly brief commuter trips, or European city to city hops. And all trains everywhere have one thing in common: Once you board and the train begins to move, you have no power to change directions on a whim, no matter how much you might feel the need for such a turn.

While in the former USSR, our children were very young. My wife and I spent a great deal of time planning what we would do, should the rapidly opening and closing doors of the subway cars somehow separate us from one another. The nightmare scenario-- which thankfully never took place--was the possibility of our children exiting at a station, and the train moving forward with us still aboard. Imagine the panic of a parent, longing for the train to return to the station, yet knowing there is no stopping until the next.

During my years as a pastor, I've had the privilege of helping a hundred or so couples promise their lives to one another. Are there ever moments in married life when one partner or the other believes they might wish to go back, and reconsider their vows? Of course. It is at those moments, that vows are like a train ticket. No couple wishes to pledge themselves to love, cherish, have and hold one-another for the "next little while." Brides and grooms hold a passionate belief that each is committed to forever. You buy the ticket planning to arrive at the other end of the line together. It costs you your sacred promise. And you board the train when you make those vows.

My October 1979 promises have landed me 29 years down the track, riding with the same love. We've gone through storms that rocked the carriage. We've struggled at stops here and there. But we bought one ticket, and boarded one train. I'm so grateful for the promise that has carried us to this place. Without our vows, we each might have criss-crossed our lives in short bursts one way, and then the other.

Where are you going? What have you pledged your life to? Why not land in the place you committed to go in the first place? To where have you purchased a ticket?

Runaway Pastor: Newest version of Chapters 1-7

Here is the latest edition of the first seven chapters of The Runaway Pastor.

It has been a fun journey to date. Thanks for all of the nice things you are saying. I still welcome comments. I'm doing quite a bit of shifting around with the Parable of the Gym. You may not see much more of that until publication.

Of course, no new Runaway publication would be complete without a reminder that I am sitting in my cabin with my wife of 29 years, and completely happy in my marriage. And, I love the people of the church I pastor. I am not Trent Atkins, he is fiction. But, he is indeed representative of so many people, not pastors alone, who struggle with the current business model adopted by so much of Christendom in the west.

Grace and peace to you.

"Witnessing"

In my novel, The Runaway Pastor, there is a scene where Trent is asked by a new friend about his faith. Here is the question, and how Trent approaches his answer.

“Talk to me about your faith, Trent.”


She followed his eyes as he looked out over the sea and the moon, and toward the stars. “Love made all of this. Love so intense it reaches out to you and me and says ‘love me back!’ And I do. I love Love back. And Carman—that woman we met today lying on the street—has been so unloved, that Love begged me to love her. So I did.”


“That’s…that’s beautiful. I think. Does this love have a name, or a religious circle where it hangs out?” Kim asked.


“I think Love’s name is Jesus. And I’m not sure where He hangs out anymore.”

So what is your response to this method of Trent sharing his faith?
Will an answer like this ever meet the need expressed by the questioner?
Why didn't Trent use Jesus' name until pushed for the identity of "Love?"
Would you ever use such an indirect approach to answer such a question about your fatih? Why, or why not?

I've been wanting to get some feedback on various sections of the book, so here is an invitation for you to start a conversation.

Are there any other snippets of the novel you'd like to see discussed?

David

Happy Anniversary to us!

Today is my twenty-ninth wedding anniversary!

Yesterday I preached about Jesus' echoing of the first commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." I'll spare you the entirety of the message, but...

The word we translate as "Love," has a much deeper root meaning than our U.S. version. The better translation might read: "Be loyal to the Lord your God..." Throughout the past 29 years, the romantic edge of our marriage has been wonderful. However, as in any relationship, sometimes romance waned a bit, or took a back seat to hospitalizations or family grief. There are seasons of life which are hard--agonizing even. But loyalty to the promise is enduring.

If you follow The Runaway Pastor to the end, you will experience this faith in, and commitment to the promise as I believe it is intended. One of the most important reasons I wrote this novel is to paint a picture of love as loyalty to a vow, verses "the way things seem to feel right now."

It is my hope and prayer that whoever reads The Runaway Pastor will come-away with a newly deepened commitment to stay true to their initial "I dos." A pastor who recently finished the entire manuscript has certainly testified to that outcome in his life, and for that I'm grateful.

Grace and peace to you.